Tara’s Takes
Ihave missed more time in the office this summer than I ever have. Between medical stuff, kids activities, out-of-town meetings, etc. I feel like I don’t know if I’m coming or going. This last week was much of the same. Of course, we had Per’s appointments, which you can read about in his column. I also missed all of Monday to visit some colleges with Ben.
I have been on my fair share of college visits. Per and I toured several with Olivia. I went through the process with Brady just a couple years ago. Now I’m on this adventure again with Ben. When it comes to college searches, I have two big “rules:” 1. You must visit at least three colleges. My biggest concern here is you aren’t wrapped up in the pomp and circumstance, or the fun T-shirts you get. Each campus has its own feel, and you really can’t compare if you only look at one.
2. You choose the college you want to attend. While advice and opinions from mom, dad, grandparents, friends, etc. can seem helpful, I am a big believer that if you choose the route of college, this is a time for you to explore and choose what you want.
When Brady looked at colleges, we explored small and large ones. He really wanted to do the big college in the big city. There were others who had the opinion that Minneapolis wasn’t safe and they didn’t want him going there, or that the school was too big.
After his first year, he’s loving it. He loves the big city. He loves public transportation. He loves all the things most of us here would hate. Which is exactly why I wanted him to choose the college he wanted to attend and not based on everyone else’s opinion.
So far, Ben has toured the University of Minnesota, Alexandria Technical College (which he decided he’d like to do a four-year college), the University of Iowa and Iowa State. The last two were on Monday.
They were both beautiful campuses and are good schools. And for mom who was just along for the trip and to look at the cost, both were further than SMSU in Marshall.
Before you ask, no. He does not want to go to SMSU. I’ve tried.
As we drove, a lot, we talked about the colleges and college in general, and Ben asked me what I was going to do when he moved away for college. I gave him the honest answer.
“I’ll cry,” I told him. It’s not that I don’t want him to move to college. I truly love watching all the kids chase their dreams and start their adult lives. But that doesn’t make it easier. First kid, last kid, the forgotten middle child — I’m going to miss them all. I won’t miss the never ending laundry or the dirty dishes that appear in the sink as soon as the kitchen is clean.
I will miss the talks after a long day. The moments when they have too much energy and are just goofy. I will miss them making fun of the music I listen to and how I can’t understand the stuff they listen to. I’ll miss them making fun of me for being the first one to go to bed, even though I’m up hours before them. I’ll miss the projects we do together. I’ll just miss having them around.
We have another visit scheduled for September, and I think Ben is close to narrowing his decision. I’m going to celebrate that decision he makes, even if it takes him farther away and in the opposite direction of his brother.
And even though I’ve been through this and will soon be moving Brady to college for his sophomore year, the second time around, knowing they are entering their senior year and getting ready for the next chapter isn’t any easier.
So for now, I’ll cherish the long car rides to college visits, the backyard bonfires, the jokes and laughs and yet another year of the “lasts” as a high school student. And at times, I’ll cry, just like I did when Brady was a senior. And this time next year when I’m moving Ben to college, I’ll cry again — not because he’s leaving, but because he’s entering the chapter we all hope our kids get to. And, in turn, I’ll have Natalie all to myself to annoy even more. Because if you know anything about teenage girls — their moms are the most annoying people in the world!
