Tara’s
Takes
As graduation approaches, it’s not just the kids that are preparing for big changes. As parents, we’re looking at household changes that can include less kids or an empty nest. But other changes are on the horizon, especially if your kids are in activities.
A few week’s ago, Sophie wrote a column about friendships. As we fly toward the end of another school year and big changes in our household, I see changes coming to the friendships not just for my kids.
Ben and Brady have had some friendships with kids since they started at Holy Redeemer. These friendships were with siblings so even though Brady graduated two years ago, I still saw the same families at concerts, school activities and such as Ben moved through high school. But that is changing. When Ben graduates, I won’t lose those friendships, but I won’t see those same people at every school event I attend.
Natalie is quickly ending her time at Holy. The biggest difference between HRS and Marshall Public is the size. Natalie currently has a class of 20. Ben will graduate in a month with class of 240.
When Natalie moves to the high school in the fall, she could go the entire day without having class with some of her best friends. Because of her involvement in activities, she has friends from the public school, and I know she will see both her HRS friends and her public school friends often. But as she explores new activities and interests, those friendships will evolve.
The funny thing is, as parents, many of our friendships change right with our kids. We sit next to the same group of parents at games all season. We attend concerts with the parents of other band or choir kids. We get to know the parents, and because of our kids’ busy schedules, spend a lot of time with parents from our kids’ activities.
Now, as our kids graduate or move on to other activities, as parents we have to work harder to forge those friendships. No longer are we guaranteed to see those people every weekend at the field or every month at the theater.
I just joked with Per that come a year from now, I will have my Saturday’s back in the spring, mainly because Natalie will be too old to play Plum Creek Soccer. For 5-6 weeks, we have spent every Saturday at the soccer fields since she was in kindergarten. While she isn’t giving up soccer by any means, she won’t be playing with the kids here. She does play in Marshall and that high school season in the fall is very busy. So we will have plenty of time at a soccer field, but the spring will look different.
When Ben goes off to college in the fall, I’ll have fewer activities to run to. Ben will keep in touch with friends through social media, I’m sure. It is much easier now more than ever.
But as parents, do we enter a new time of forging new friendships when we’ve been attending activities with the same people for 12 years? Personally, I look forward to being able to hang out with friends I’ve made through my kids activities and the events not be completely based on a game or concert schedule. And new friendships as my kids move to new stages of life.
