Tara’s Takes
O ur main goal as parents is to raise our kids so they don’t need us anymore. That’s a hard pill to swallow. As parents, we want more than anything, for our kids to be successful and happy.
When we hear this with toddlers, we think “yes, I can’t wait for my kids to not need me to tie their shoes any longer.” But they learn that and suddenly they are high schoolers. And instead of not needing you to tie their shoes, they don’t need you to drive them to practice. Instead, we are regulated to the bleachers. This brings a whole new part of parenting.
This part of parenting is feeling the highs and lows of life alongside our kids. We feel all their feelings, many times even more. When our kids are hurt by a disappointment, we feel it to our core. When they cry, while we might not show it, we’re crying on the inside and sometimes the outside.
When they accomplish something they’ve worked so hard to achieve, be it in the classroom, sports, arts or work, we feel that sense of pride just as much.
Therefore, when we watch chapters of their lives come to a close, all this emotions hit us, too. The difference is, in front of their friends they might be tough and strong, but in front of us, their safe space, those true emotions come out. And they come from us, too.
I was privileged to cover state golf last week and watch a true family event. From the early morning tee times for Taylor Munson to the rain soaked day two for big brother Alex, they had a family of supporters watching them and silently cheering them on.
Golf is a completely different spectator sport.
There are no huge screams or chanting sideline cheers like in other sports. The quiet pressure on that golf course even made me nervous. I wasn’t even golfing. However, I golf — very badly — in Tracy and I know how much of a mental game it is.
Add to that, Alex was golfing in his very last high school golf meet. After years of coaching from his dad, for the last time as a TMB Panther, he was getting that advise as they tackled each hole. Alex ended his career in a spot most dream of — at the state tournament and shooting his best back nine at state.
But then, it was over. Not golf completely, he is going to do that at college and can golf for his entire life. But the years of dad coaching, of parents being at the high school meets, that part ended. With that final putt on hole 18, a chapter of Alex’s life came to a close.
And a chapter for his parents did as well.
We cover sports, plays, BPA, every activity you can imagine.
We have had a front row seat to the closing of so many chapters for our area youth. In two days I watched those chapters close for Aidan Swenhaugen, Cade Swenhaugen and Alex Munson.
And I’m sure their parents were feeling all the emotions, just like them. Immense pride for all they have accomplished.
Sadness that it’s the last time they watch them as a Panther.
And the realization that the final part of their high school chapter has ended.
Whether it’s the final time your child sinks a putt, pitches in a game, takes the stage in a play, or just leaves for high school with the “see you later mom,” they mark ends to chapters that as parents, we’ve played a pivotal role in.
Now, we enter new chapters — ones where support might come through a phone call more than a conversation in the kitchen. One that the main form of communication may be through Snapchat.
And while they are ending a chapter and starting a new one, so are all the parents. It’s OK, actually more than OK, to have all those feelings. To know that it isn’t just the end of a high school athletic career, it’s one step closer to not having that kid at home every night. It’s one more step closer to our ultimate goal as a parent: to raise our kids so they don’t need us.
One goal, that if we accomplish it, fills us with a lot of pride and a little sadness.
A perfect example of that came at state golf with Rochelle Munson. As she watched from the opposite side of the green, Alex sunk his last putt. It was then that the tears filled her eyes. They weren’t tears of disappointment, they were tears from a mom that watched her son accomplish something great and that this means it’s time for the next chapter.
Rochelle said to me, I’m going to miss that kid.
As I stepped back to let the famiily all come together for hugs and congratulations, the emotions were on all their faces.
And even though it wasn’t my kid, I felt them too. The fact that after a busy senior year, and two days of his family all coming together to support Taylor and Alex, the Munson family are embarking on their next chapter. One that in a couple of short months, won’t include Alex at home every day.
They are not new to this chapter, they have two kids that have graduated already. But that doesn’t mean its easy for parents when the next one leaves for college or life outside home.
It’s ok to feel all the emotions that these events bring. It just shows the pride of parents and the love they have for their kids.
